Solving Conflicts
Creating a Positive Outcome

Solving conflicts between two people can be very challenging—especially if you are one of the two people. With different points of view, different personalities and often different desired outcomes, conflicts are bound to arise on occasion. Verbal combat can leave you mentally and physically exhausted, stressed, hurt and upset. Conflicts are a source of ruination in marriages, friendships, families and business organizations. Finding ways to solve conflicts amicably is a healthier goal to pursue. Here are strategies you will find helpful to solve conflicts when they arise.

• Are you trying to prove your point or improve the relationship?

When we get involved in a conflict with another person, we often find the argument centers around differing points of view. Each side thinks that their perspective is the right way of seeing things. In a conflict, are you trying to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong? Just like when you were young and found yourself quibbling with your younger sibling?? In those instances, parents may have intervened to settle the differences or at least stop things before escalating into an all-out brawl.

But now, things are different as you have matured. You will find that a conflict can become more constructive if you use the differing points of view to discover alternative ways of looking at things. Such an approach can allow you to improve your relationship with each other. Showing respect for differing opinions is a lot more positive than determining that one person won and one person lost in the latest battle of words.

• Have the other person explain why she feels a certain way—putting you in her shoes.

Ask for an explanation about how the other person arrived at this point of view. Learning what she believes can be enlightening when you become more aware of previous experiences she has encountered which color her point of view. Solving conflicts can be a process that allows growth as we learn more about the people with whom we build relationships.

• Stick to the issue at hand.

Make it a rule not to introduce past events or situations to become a part of the current dialogue. It is always good to establish some ground rules when it comes to arguing in a constructive and fair manner. Let bygones be bygones and move on. Don’t dwell in the past. Bringing up past events can be hurtful and will not provide any constructive growth in your relationship.

• Establish a desired outcome for the situation.

If you find yourself engaged in a conflict with another individual, stop throwing words around and take a deep breath. Think about what a reasonable outcome could be so that you can resolve the argument. Solving conflicts can have a positive conclusion if you determine an ending goal that both parties can agree to uphold.

Is there a way to collaborate and find the middle ground so that you can turn the conflict into a win-win conclusion? Solving conflicts can offer opportunities to work together, respect each other’s opinions, and discover solutions that allow each to grow and benefit from the experience. Identifying core values that each holds is another component in solving conflicts.

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