A Relationship Workout Program
to Boost Your Emotional Fitness

by Jill Mazza, MABC, CPC 
 Communications Coach

How about starting a relationship workout program to develop more meaningful and productive connections with people who are important in our personal and professional lives? Success and satisfaction in life and at work depend largely upon how well we express ourselves. Effective communication skills create solid foundations for healthy relationships and increase our emotional fitness levels. 

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How healthy are your relationships? How emotionally ‘fit’ are you as a partner?

Being emotionally fit in relationships is much like being physically fit. We work out to keep our bodies in shape. We do cardio to burn calories, lift weights to strengthen muscles, and stretch to gain flexibility. My favorite fitness coach begins workouts in the gym by shouting, “Let’s work it out!”  Maintaining healthy relationships and emotional fitness also require us to work things out.

Relationship workouts require a commitment to working on our selves in our relationships - together with our partners. We must consistently exercise effective communication skills and build emotional muscles to achieve the results we say we want in our relationships. When emotional fitness fades and communication skills weaken, the health of our relationships and our quality of life suffer.

Relationships are opportunities to work on our emotional weaknesses and universal issues like fear, shame, and insecurity in communication with our partners. In tandem, we can also develop core strengths like our capacity to balance autonomy with the desire to connect with others, our courage to be vulnerable, and our ability to trust and love deeply.

Everyone has issues. Healthy relationships are places where we can work on our selves - and work out issues.



Working on and communicating about our emotional weaknesses and unique issues in relationships can feel like doing strenuous physical exercise. It’s uncomfortable, often painful, stretches our patience, and tests our will. We don't come to relationships with nothing to work out. Once part of a relationship dynamic, we discover we have more self-work to do than we initially thought.

Learning about our selves through a love partner, family member, friend, or colleague while healthfully and effectively communicating are sure signs that we are working these relationships and exercising our emotional fitness to maximum capacity. Relationship workouts requires time, energy, presence, and patience. The results we get depend on how hard, smart, and consistently we work.

Emotional fitness in relationships can be achieved by maintaining personal integrity while effectively communicating and respectfully collaborating with our partners. This proactive approach to building relationships can serve as the basis for conscious living, loving, and working.

Consider these Relationship Workout Tips to increase your emotional fitness level

• Work to clearly articulate your thoughts, feelings, expectations, and boundaries. Expressing ourselves accurately and fully helps to maintain personal integrity and demonstrates self-worth. Respectfully letting our partners know who we are and what we want gives them the chance to meet our needs with clear direction. Writing can be cathartic. Try putting pen to paper before you speak to gain clarity around what you want to communicate.
• Work to understand your communication style and the style of your partner. Raising awareness around the broad range of communication styles and preferences helps us to become more flexible when sharing, listening, and interpreting thoughts, feelings, and actions in relationships. Try discussing how different styles compliment each other and provide learning opportunities that deepen and empower relationship dynamics.
• Work to be present and patient with your partner. Being in relationships requires time, energy, presence, and patience. Make your partner and the relationship a priority. Relationships do not build themselves. Pay consistent attention to how relationships look and feel so that you can proactively manage and shape the results you want. Just like going to the gym regularly, try setting specific times each week to work on – and work out - your relationship with your partner.
  

Challenge yourself to start relationship workout programs and to strengthen your emotional fitness today. Work your relationships to maximum capacity. Be consistent. Just like cardio, squats, and push-ups, no one can do this work for you. You know what happens when you don’t do the work and that results don’t happen overnight.

About the Author: Jill Mazza is an ICF Associate Certified Coach and corporate trainer based in Pittsburgh, PA. Her consultative coaching services help clients to communicate with increased control, clarity, and confidence on the job and in personal relationships. Jill’s straightforward style and practical approach to improving communication skills results in enhanced personal presence and professional polish. For information about coaching write to mazzacoaching@gmail.com.

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